Reason # 4 Blessings with NAMES on it!!

If we take a closer look, we see that all the reasons I’ve shared up to now were really just an introduction of sorts—a kind of broad-stroke painting of my point of view (POV), to borrow some modern TikTok slang.

These reasons merely alluded to the general things that matter to me—things that have shaped and guided my outlook on life. They represent nothing more (and nothing less) than a point of view. Because that’s really all any of us can ever claim to have: a perspective, not absolute truth.

(Also please remember this as you read this blog...as I will as I am writing it)

Our "truths" are shaped by culture, experience, upbringing, personality, traits, the ideas we’ve been exposed to—by preferences, hearsay, understanding… or the lack thereof. Oh, how we try to cling to some truths as absolutes—but how fluid, how shifting, they often prove to be. (Again—just my POV!)

And so, I must stop writing about reasons and begin to focus on the blessings—the events and people that shaped my life beyond a shadow of a doubt. The closest thing to an absolute truth I know.

When I apply that filter, two names immediately rise to the top: Jeandre & Minette—our two children. (Yes, our—because no parent can ever speak of a child as theirs alone.)

Therefor,  to mention these two names necessarily implies a third. For our children to come into being, a love story first had to unfold…

It was in 1991, beneath the majestic Simonsberg in Stellenbosch, that I fell deeply in love—and the name that entered the blessings-of-my-life realm was Antoinette.

Thus, before I can write about our beautiful children, I must first honour and celebrate the joy and blessing that is Antoinette—my ex-wife.

Here is what we need to remember:

Life rarely follows a straight line—and neither does love.

I was once married to an incredible woman. She is beautiful, strong, compassionate, and wise. Together, we brought two extraordinary children into the world, and through them, our legacy continues in a way that is deep, enduring, and filled with grace.

Our journey together was real. The love we shared was real. And though our paths have since diverged, the respect and gratitude I hold for Antoinette have only grown. We built a life, we grew a family, and we navigated storms with honesty and courage.

In the years since, I have come into a fuller understanding of who I am.  This truth does not erase the past; it enriches it with clarity and authenticity.

To my former wife: thank you. For your kindness, for your strength, and for walking beside me through so much. For loving me, as I did you. Our chapter together will always be one of love, even if it reads differently than we once imagined.

To our children: you are the best of both of us. You are loved beyond words, and you are living proof that love, in all its forms, can create something beautiful and lasting.

This is not a story of endings—it is a story of evolution. Of love that changed form but never lost its soul.

And for that, I am profoundly grateful.

You, Antoinette,  will always be the person I have the most respect for - I have said that over and over - on various platforms and to many.

You are kind and gentle, you are forgiving and you are strong.

You are the best Mother to our children, you are an inspiration to me.

Thank you Antoinette, Thank you Source & Thank You Life,

I am blessed. And please forgive my shortcomings, alas those also shape us - and once faced, endured and lived deeply , they too can become blessings of authenticity.

I have always felt that the Poet Oriah Mountain Dreamer worded this process perfectly... See for yourself below:

"It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments...."

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

22 May 2025

LINK:

LINK to Landing page with LINKS to other "REASONS" posts